• Me (turns to the camera): My friend believes the last slice in the pizza box is for him. But where he has failed is in underestimating how hungry I am. Fortunately for me, he is too high now to observe as I take the last slice right from under him.
  • Friend: Have you been watching House of Cards again?

11 notes

  • driving teacher: stay in your lane
  • me: stay in your lane

55,377 notes

Anonymous said: What is a thot?

betterthankanyebitch:

google is your friend

goodnight 

37 notes